I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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