her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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