in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Randomize
