As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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