No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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