Me too!
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
