Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"

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(602): View more from Arizona

You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?

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(647): View more from Ontario

I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.

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(951): View more from California

Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?

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(845): View more from New York

There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.

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