sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Randomize
