Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
