how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
how do flat chested girls get laid?
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
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