I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
NoShamevember. You game?
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
