It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
vagina is talking i cant
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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