So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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