Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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