Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
