you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
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