I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
