Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
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