their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I have demons in me.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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