i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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