found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
