so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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