The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
