so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
