Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize