You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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