But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
