Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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