Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
