I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Acid is not a monday night drug
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
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