I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize