Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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