I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
