arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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