I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
He felt like a one man threesome
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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