He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
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