You're so nebulous sometimes
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize
