i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
