yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
