Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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