I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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