that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
