fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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