hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
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