so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize