she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
