it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
