We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Randomize
