hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
