sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
no, he came in my armpit
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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