my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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