i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
