I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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