Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
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