You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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