Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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