Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
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