Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
