Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize