We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
You work out of a Hotel?
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
