People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
