you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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