But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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